McSweeney’s

Ten Legitimate Reasons to Pull Out Your Dick On a Zoom Call

Hemingway Writes The Babysitters Club

A Guide to Midwestern Conversation

The 11th Most-Read Piece of 2018

A Guide to Midwestern Conversation:
Super Bowl LIV Fan Edition

A Guide to Midwestern Conversation:
Election Edition

Written with Becky Blades (my mom!!)

Turkey or Sides: A Socratic Dialogue

Sorry, But I Don’t Think Attending Xavier’s School For Gifted Youngsters Will Get Me Into Brown

Written with Felipe Torres Medina